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October 18, 2010

Do you Love or Desire?

[singlepic id=53 w=320 h=240 float=right]Chocolate Chip Cookies, Sex and Beer are three things that, until recently, I would have said “I love!” But a recent post by my friend and professor Dr. David Timms has challenged me with a quote from In Hope, “When we say “I love chocolate cake!” we deceive ourselves. We don’t love it. We want to eat it! If we loved it, we’d care for it.

You see, one is focused on fulfilling another and the other is focused on fulfilling self. One is willing to be used and the other uses. One is miserly and the other charitable. One cherishes freedom and the other slavery.

When I desire someone or something I will get “it,” and hold onto “it” at any cost even if “it” doesn’t want to be held. I might rather destroy “it,” then allow anyone else the pleasure of having “it.”

Chocolate chip cookies, sex, and an ice cold beer are things I desire. If I get to the last beer or cookie I will seldom ask if anyone else wants it (Confession #1). I may even eat cookies in secret so as not to tip off the crowd in order to secure as many cookies as possible (Confession #2). I used to say I love chocolate chip cookies, but I am deceiving myself because who cares about what a cookie wants?

Sometimes I try to pass off my desire for sex as love for my wife (Confession #3). This is hard for me to type, but if I loved my wife I would be more concerned for her desire than my own. Sadly, I fail miserably at this.

And there is nothing better than a hot summer day and an ice cold Grolsch, or Yuengling, or Newcastle. In fact, forget hot and summer. Any day drinking one of those is going to lead to refreshment, but I don’t want to give anything to beer or sacrifice for it.

In this season of life I find myself in a state of some confusion about whether I desire or love Jesus. I have thought that I loved Him, but I have been asking a lot of Him lately: heal my Mom, heal Kasey’s baby, make a way for this adoption to happen, and now heal my brother and heal Kristi’s grandfather.

It never really occurred to me in the midst of this until now that I might show Jesus love if I just simply asked Him, “What would You have happen Lord? What would You have me do?”

His answer may be, “Just continue to do what you are doing, keep asking,” but it may be something else. It’s the fear of the something else that keeps me from moving out of desire and into love.

Are you a user or lover of Jesus?

It’s a valid question. It’s one I need to wrestle with more.

Fill in the blanks with people and then with Jesus and answer the question: Do I love _____________ or do I desire _____________?

Now, with me, repent, and seek to love the Lord and desire Him only…only if He wants you to.

Thanks to David Timms for sparking this post.

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