Last Monday, out of no where, I was asked the following question by my seven year old daughter.

“Daddy, what do we do to celebrate Martin Luther King Day?”

It seemed like an odd question at first. She continued…

“We don’t exchange gifts or anything?”

“Now I understand,” I told myself. With that I was able to see the problem from her little 7 year old point of view. Basically, holidays are meant to be celebrated. Just coming off Christmas and New Years with tons of family, lots of food, gifts a plenty, and cheerful attitudes her alertness and expectations were heightened. I needed to carefully lower those expectations.

I’m not sure if other families, especially those with a skin color other than white “do” something, but we have never even talked about Dr. King much less done anything. It’s not because we mean any disrespect, but it’s kind of like President’s Day. We don’t intentionally talk about George Washington or Abraham Lincoln either.

Back to her question. So, I began to explain that “It isn’t one of those holidays,” when before I could speak a word she beat me to the punch with an announcement that I’ll never forget. In her sweet Kentucky drawl she said,

“I mean if it wasn’t for him we wouldn’t be gettin’ those kids.”

I was dumbfounded…speechless…disappointed…proud.

She was absolutely right.

It had never occurred to me, and I am ashamed.

In her mind this day is significant, very significant. We’ve been trying to adopt three children from Uganda for three years. We pray for them every night. And while I had completely missed any opportunity to make the connection she had not. Martin Luther King Jr.’s sacrifice was making the very attempt, no, the very thought of adopting black children a reality.

Here was my lens for the Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday Holiday. The holiday was first approved by Congress in 1983. No disrespect meant, but again from the Southern White perspective in many ways MLK Day was viewed, by many, as a token holiday. It was slow to be adopted by the states and up until my sophomore year in high school it was a regular school day until January 19, 1988.

Why did that change? Well it wasn’t because a law had been passed. Instead our high school made the national news on January 20, 1987 when the school was overcome by a race riot that broke out amongst the students. We had police at school for the first time in my life and from that point forward the local school system gave us the day off on the third Monday in January in order to avoid another racially tinged outburst. Now the racial tension in my community is strange. It’s always there, but never ever talked about. It’s just accepted.

Almost every black church in my community was formed right after the Civil War. One of those churches was formed in a split within one of those black churches several years later, but it can trace its roots back to the Civil War. The United Methodist Church, in an effort to incorporate some heritage from their old building into their new one actually put a stained glass window over the opening of the sanctuary that says “M. E. Church South.” I’m not sure if anyone actually knew this, but “M. E.” is the abbreviation for Methodist Episcopal and the designation “South” indicates that there must have been a “North.” Basically “South” proclaims that the church was/is pro-slavery, and sadly if anyone were to look it up today that church is still proclaiming it with the prominent placement of that window over the main doors to the sanctuary. Some would argue that the church was pro-Confederate, but the church split between North and South, as far as the Methodist Episcopal Church was concerned, was over the issue of slavery and not state’s rights.

As a confession, in some ways I have always thought that the riot episode was an excuse to get emotional over something that none of the rioters could identify with since none of them had even been alive when Martin Luther King Jr. was alive. So, why in the world would they feel so passionate about a guy that they never really knew? In my whiteness I excused the whole thing as an opportunity for blacks to adopt an entitlement mentality claiming victimization for the lack of opportunity provided them. This entitlement thing is not a black problem. It’s a culture problem. We Americans feel entitled to low prices, easy money, big houses and fancy cars. So, when we get any opportunity we play the role of victim when those entitlements aren’t granted to us.

Now, after a child’s comment, God has redeemed that line of thinking. I see things a little differently. It never occurred to me that if it were not for the Civil Rights Movement our adoption of African children would not be possible. While I’m not 100% sure that the State of Kentucky would have denied us the right. I am pretty sure that the road would have been uphill at best and at worst impossible.

Sadly, for the first time I can appreciate how radically better my life is today because of Dr. King’s efforts. There are opportunities that I now have as a Southern White Man that would never have come about if not for his sacrifice.

Don’t tell my seven year old, but I think we may do something special next year.